Fungeons and Wagons
by Illogical1612
Summary: Axton touched the red button. Read my previous story, Absolute Zero, or you might not understand what's going on.
1. Do You Believe In Magic?

"Axton..."

"Yeah Maya?"

"You pressed the damn button didn't you."

"No..."

"Are you sure?"

"No..."

Maya rolled onto her back and sat up.

"What the-"

A unicorn flew across the horizon.

"Where-?"

Zero was lying on the grass a few feet away.

"So THAT'S where Zero went."

Zero's sword was impaled in the body of a witch nearby. Or at least it LOOKED like a witch.

"YOU KILLED THE WICKED WITCH OF THE YEAST! HOORAH!"

"Axton?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we're on Pandora anymore."


	2. Void

Maya got to her feet. Axton was wiping the dirt from his eyes, Salvador was clutching the grass, Gaige was yelling at Axton, and Krieg was smelling Maya's hair.

"Um…"

"PRETTY LADY SMELLS LIKE ROSES!" Krieg announced.

"Thank you…?" Maya was kind of freaked out by the psycho, but he seemed nice enough. You know, besides the times when he was brutally murdering people, and/or conducting the poop train.

"WHAT THE HELL MAN!?" Gaige scolded. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUSH THE FREAKIN BUTTON AND YA PRESS IT AND NOW WE'RE GOD KNOWS WHERE AND OH MY GOD IT'S A UNICORN" The girl's jaw dropping upon spotting the flying horse.

"What do you-WHAT THE HELL!?" Axton's reaction to the unicorn was slightly different. He shot it.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT SHE WAS A MAGESTIC CREATURE AND SHE HAD A FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND-"

"Gaige?" Maya interrupted.

"WHAT!?"

"I don't think the ground is supposed to crumble into purple dust."

And sure enough, the area around the dead witch-person was beginning to disappear. Maya quickly grabbed Zero's katana, and shook him awake. His faceplate displayed a question mark, which quickly became an exclamation.

"WHAT DO WE DO MAYA!?" The hole in the ground was getting bigger.

"Run?"

And with that, our six heroes ran from the quickly-growing hole, not knowing what was to come.

I'll give you a hint though.

MAGIC


	3. Holes Like Swiss Cheese

Thanks again to my favorite reader, Elemental Hybrid. He's read all the crap I've put out, and probably makes up most of the views for my fics.

* * *

Axton gasped for breath. "The hell was that?"

"I dunno, seemed like the ground was being sucked into a black hole or something." Gaige replied. "Whatever it was, it was probably not a good thing."

"Si." Salvador agreed.

"Well Maya, you're the expert on magic. You know what's goin' on?"

"No idea."

"The Teleporter/Malfunctioning Heavily/Creating Wormholes." Zero announced.

"Yeah, what he said."

"Well are more gonna appear or-GAH!" Axton shouted as he fell through the ground.

"Mierda." Salvador muttered, as he too dissapeared.

One-by-one, the Vault Hunters were sucked through the ground, and as Maya sank, all she thought was:

"God-damnit Axton. You had to push the button."

And then the world went black.


	4. Maya: A Pandoran Western

For the second time today, Maya awoke in another dimension.

This time, however, the others were not nearby.

And this time, when she rose to her feet, she was surrounded by men. Armed men. This would normally not be a problem, but when Maya reached for her gun, it wasn't there.

"Well, crap." Maya said. She was afraid. Too scared to even register the fact that everyone was wearing ten-gallon hats and cowboy boots.

"Looks like we got a new resident!" One of the men said. "You probably don't know how it works around here. You see, you pay us, and we don't kill ya. But seeing as how you don't have any money on you, let's just skip to the... unpleasant portion." The man cocked his revolver and pointed it to Maya's skull. She closed her eyes and waited for the end.

But then she heard gunshots, and dove to the ground.

"I warned you Davey." A strangely familiar voice said. "Now, you won't get a second chance."

"NO! PLEASE! I CAN-" A boom, and the sound of several people running.

When Maya opened her eyes, there was only one man standing above her. He held his hand out to help her up.

"Hey there. Name's Axton."

"Uh, thanks. I'm Maya." She grabbed Axton's outstretched hand, and pulled herself up. "Where are we?"

"You're in the town of Sanctuary. You haven't been here before, have you?"

"Apparently not." Maya replied. She looked at the town, which was almost nothing like the floating town she knew.

"Well Maya, I'm glad I could be of assistance. Next time you appear out of nowhere, try not to appear in the middle of a group of bandits." Axton tipped his hat, and ran off, disappearing around a corner.


	5. Axton: Welcome Back, Soldier

Axton's eyes shot open, and he had to blink twice to make sure he wasn't seeing things, because according to his eyes, he was back on the battlefield. He blinked again, and he was in a trench, clutching his rifle. Next to him was a red-headed female soldier, who was hurling grenades over the edges of the trench. Axton blinked once again, and realized that the soldier couldn't be more than 17 years old.

"Gaige?" Axton asked.

The girl threw another grenade towards the sounds of gunfire. "What?"

"What year is this?"

"It's 1944."

"Where are we?"

"We're in France! You got Amnesia or somethin'?"

Axton consulted his vast knowledge of military history, and vaguely remembered a battle that took place in France in 1944, on Earth.

Axton blinked again. He was in Normandy. On Earth. In 1944.

During D-Day.


	6. Zero: Feuding Japanese

When Zero opened his eyes, he was crouching in a bush. He was not wearing his sneaking suit, but was instead wearing simple black clothes, with a matching black cowl wrapped around his face. After a few moments, he realized that he was on a mission. An Assassination mission. A few more moments, and he remembered his target. He felt for his katana, and found it in it's usual place, strapped to his thigh. Zero peered out of the bush. There were a few guards, but they seemed to be half-asleep. Zero realized that it was extremely late in the night.

Zero moved quickly and silently. Like a shadow, he moved between the bushes and trees, sliding between guards, and he finally found the paper window that hid his target's room. Carefully, he opened the paper door and crept inside. There his target lay, not knowing that they would never wake up. Zero drew his katana and prepared to end his life, when his target rolled in their sleep, allowing Zero to see their face. And that face was a very familiar face, a face that he had come to know as a friend, and an ally.

The face belonged to Angel.


	7. The Sheriff: Maya

To Gamewiz2x3:

Honestly, I liked the first one better too.

* * *

Maya found Moxxi's bar after a few minutes of looking around. The Sanctuary that Maya was in was certainly not the same as the floating mining city, but it was similar. There was still a Black Market, still a news stand, still a gun store. Most of the people were still there, but some were different. Maya discovered that Roland was the sheriff, and Mordecai was a deputy. She didn't hear anything about Lillith, Brick, or any of her friends, which brought the question.

"If that really was Axton, are the others here too?"

Maya wandered the streets, looking for Roland or Mordecai, and she eventually found a familiar-looking building, the building that housed the Crimson Raiders in her Sanctuary. She knocked on the door.

"Whadd'ya want?"

"Can I see Roland?"

"Yeah, sure, hold on a second."

Maya heard some stumbling, and what sounded like glass shattering from behind the door, but eventually it opened, and standing there was Mordecai.

"Right this way." Mordecai pointed to the stairs, and then sat down and poured himself a drink.

At the top of the stairs, Maya found Roland sitting at a desk near a map of what Maya assumed was Pandora.

"Roland?"

Roland looked up.

"Do you know anyone named Axton?"

Roland thought for a second. "I've heard of him, never seen him for myself tho-" BOOM! A gunshot echoed, and the Soldier fell, for the second time.

"OH CRAP!" Maya screamed.

"HIJO DE PUTA!" Mordecai yelled, the sniper scrambled up the stairs. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

"I DON'T KNOW! HE JUST DIED!"

"THERE!" Mordecai drew a revolver and fired, and then Maya noticed a sniper perched on top of a roof, fleeing from the scene. Mordecai hit the sniper in the leg, causing him to fall from the building.


	8. Run Like Hell: Axton

Axton was freaking out.

He was in 1944.

In France.

On Earth.

Shit.

* * *

"Gaige!"

"WHAT?"

"How long have we been here?" Bullets whizzed above Axton's head.

"COUPLE HOURS NOW!" Gaige said, returning fire. Axton heard someone scream in pain.

"Where's everyone else?" Axton pointed out the fact that there were only a few soldiers in the trenches with them, and he couldn't see any others.

"THEY'RE ALL DEAD!" Gaige replied, ducking as a grenade exploded above the trench.

Then Axton noticed the bodies. They didn't do much to help his freaking out.

"Why don't we retreat?"

"THEY'VE GOT TOO MANY SNIPERS, WE CAN'T GET BACK TO THE BOATS!"

"Don't we have any?"

"WE HAVE ONE!" Gaige pointed to some rocks, in which a soldier wearing a hood was crouching, slowly picking off hostiles one-by-one. Axton didn't need to ask what the sniper's name was.

"SNIPERS DOWN, AMIGOS!" The sniper shouted. "RETREAT!"

The surviving soldiers, including Axton, sprinted towards the water. Axton was one of the first on board, and helped pull the others on. But as soon as they began leaving the beaches, the boat caught fire.

"Son of a-"

And then it exploded.


	9. Princess of Japan: Zero

"ASSASSIN!" Guards rushed into Angel's room, surrounding Zero.

"That's unfortunate." The assassin muttered.

One of the guards took a swing at Zero, but his blade was easily parried. Zero slashed one of the guards across the neck, causing him to choke on his own blood. He then ducked under the sword of another, and grabbed Angel from her bed. She was of course, awake at this point, and very surprised when she woke up to a ninja kidnapping her, and a man dying on her floor. Zero then swooped his katana through another guards knees, causing him to collapse to the ground, yelping in pain. Zero then jumped through the paper wall and disappeared into the night.

* * *

"Who are you?" Angel said to her kidnapper.

Zero was silent.

"Why have you taken me?"

Zero had begun to notice that Angel wasn't exactly angry, or trying to escape.

"Where are we going?"

"It's very strange, no?/I know who you are, Angel/And you should know me..."

"But yet you do not/And someone wants to kill you/What did you do, girl?"

This time, it was Angel who was silent.

Finally, Zero stopped near a small pond. He placed Angel on the ground.

"Well, you said someone wanted me dead. Are you going to kill me now?" Angel sounded slightly irritated, as if death were a minor inconvenience.

"No."

"Why not?"

"...Tell me about your father."

Angel was surprised at this response. "Well, he is a general in the military, and he-"

"He does not care for you?" Zero interrupted.

"It's not that, he's just..."

"..."

"No, he doesn't." Angel finally said.

Zero heard a sound come from a nearby bush.

"What was-"

Zero put a finger to his lips. Angel stopped speaking.

Slowly, Zero moved towards the bush.


	10. A Challenger Appears: Maya

A crowd was forming around Roland's assailant. The man was clutching his knee, where Mordecai's bullet had shattered his kneecap. His leg was oozing blood onto the dusty street. When Mordecai and Maya got to the crowd, they parted, allowing them passage to the assailant.

"YOU!"

The man sneered.

"YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME WHO SENT YOU, PENDEJOS!" Mordecai stumbled, but regained his footing.

"And what if I don't want to?"

"THEN I'MANA KILL YOU SO DEAD THAT WHEN YOU GET TO HELL, YOU'RE GONNA DIE AGAIN!" Mordecai drew his revolver, and pointed it to the man's head.

"Go ahead then, bandit."

"Jack sent you, didn't he." Maya said. The man laughed.

"Correct! Give her a prize!"

"VETE A LA MIERDA, PENDEJOS!" Mordecai yelled, blowing the man's brains out, and splattering most of them on Maya.

"Dude, gross."

* * *

"So you know this "Jack" person?" Mordecai asked.

"Yeah. Turns out, not such a nice guy."

Mordecai chugged a glass of Rakk Ale. "We're gonna kill that son-of-a-bitch, right?"

"Hell yeah."


	11. The Marooned Five: Axton

Haha.

See what I did there?

* * *

Axton washed up on a beach.

"Well, at least I'm not getting shot at." He thought to himself. He rose to his feet and looked around him. There were four others who had gotten here with him. Gaige, Mordecai, and two others that he didn't know. None of them were awake, but they were breathing.

"You had to push the damn button, didn't you Axton." He said to himself. He then punched himself in the face, which he immediately regretted.

"GAH!" Axton clutched his face. "WHY WOULD I DO THAT!?"

After recovering from his self-inflicted pain, Axton began to look around for shelter. He found a cave, which he had to drag the others into, as they were all still unconscious.

"Stupid boat, catching fire and exploding." He said, as he paced the inside of the cave. "Stupid Gaige, making a teleporter that sent me back in time."

When he turned around, he noticed something different about the cave. There were five other living things in the cave, not four.

The fifth was a bear, staring straight at him.


	12. The Pandoran: Zero

No longer on hiatus. This doesn't mean I won't be updating my newer story, this just means I'm going to be updating this as well.

It's summer. Hopefully you can expect more frequent updates.

So some answers, what happened to the vault hunters WILL be explained.

And yes, things will get back to normal. Eventually.

* * *

Zero pushed open the foilage and found...

Salvador. Sleeping like a baby.

"Salvador? The hell?/Get up, you fat, bald, bastard/Where are the others?"

Salvador's eyes shot open and he grabbed Zero by the neck.

"SALVADOR THE HELL/STOP STRANGLING ME I CAN'T/HOLY CRAP LET GO"

Salvador released Zero. "Don't do that! You scared me to death amigo!"

Zero coughed. "Where are the others, I ask again?"

"I don't know. I fell through the ground, and then I woke up with you 2 feet in front of my 'frickin face!" Salvador replied. "What's with the ninja suit?"

"It seems we are in feudal Japan."

"That would explain it."

Zero paused. "There's someone you should see." Zero climbed out of the bushes, and Salvador followed.

"May I introduce/Angel, or as some call her/Guardian Angel."

"Angel, Salvador/He is an old friend of sorts/Don't let him kill you."


	13. Caught: Maya

Sorry guys, been playing Dishonored/Ghost Recon...

* * *

Maya stared at the small town which was rumored to hold Jack, responsible for the murder of the Sherriff.

She had been sent on an assassination mission, to find and kill Jack.

Maya really wished she had Zero's cloak right about now.

* * *

From her vantage point on a nearby cliff, she found Jack, near the entrance of the town, yelling at a guard.

Maya snuck up to the entrance. She listened carefully, and heard Jack just a few feet from the entrance. She drew her pistol and jumped through the entrance, firing her gun three times.

She missed every time.

Landing in the middle of Jack and a guard, she felt quite foolish.

"Uh… crap."


	14. Spirit Animal: Axton

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all the reviews! Lot of people said that AbZer0 made them laugh, didn't think I was that funny :3 Thanks again, thank you thank you thank you!

* * *

"Eh... heh... nice bear?"

The bear roared.

"Well, mister bear, I'm going to back away slowly now." Axton began slowly backpedaling towards the mouth of the cave. "If you could not follow me, or kill any of my friendos, that'd be greeeeaaaaaat."

The bear tilted his head.

"STOP."

Axton stopped.

"YOU ARE NOT OF THIS WORLD."

"Well, now that you mention it, n-I'm talking to a bear, aren't I?"

"Yeah. I am."


	15. Stealth At It's Finest: Zero

Note about other fanfics:

You may have noticed I put some on hiatus. That leaves only three to work on at one time.

I might not update the ones on hiatus until these three are completed, but who knows.

* * *

"Zero." Salvador whispered.

"What."

"Why are we spying on this guy?"

Zero and Salvador were currently perched on the roof of a building overlooking a garden, where two people were talking.

"You want to know why?/He may have information/On how to get home."

"Well why don't we just BEAT it out of him?" Salvador said, pounding his fists together.

Zero pointed to the other man.

"Well why don't we just KILL him?"

"No need."

This made Salvador slightly angry, as it had been a while since he killed anyone, and he was starting to get bored.

"What if he's a challenge?"

Zero thought.

Not one minute later did Zero and Salvador jump from the roof.


	16. DUNGEON: Maya

-Le notices only one of his fanfictions that people actually read has not been updated in a month

DAMNIT SPLINTER CELL

STOP BEING FUN

My birthday's coming up in about 18 days. That's fun.

Remember when I actually updated regularly?

Those were the days.

* * *

"George? Who the hell is this?" Jack yelled, clearly angry at George for allowing a stranger to almost kill him.

"Uh…"

Jack shot George in the knee, causing him to drop to the ground, screaming.

"Don't let people almost kill me, damnit! What do I pay you for!?"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

"Oh, don't be such a baby. Ribs grow back." Jack turned to Maya and whispered, "No they don't. Now, why did you try to shoot me just now, missy?"

"No… comment…?"

"Oh alright I suppose I'll just let you go and THROW HER IN THE DUNGEON"


End file.
